Exam Dialogue

The examinations start at 3 pm.

"Hello ... hello ...!!! Are you a candidate or an invigilator? CANDIDATE!!! ..... Please wait... You are not allowed to enter."

"DIE LIAO LAh...business strategy planning paper today...."

At 2 pm, the aisles are empty. Don't bother checking where your seat is? Ok fine, it's an expedition round the 2000 seater hall. Go Explore.








The mugging fever still continues at 2:30 pm.

ANNOUNCEMENT : "Invigilators stand by, we will be throwing the doors open to invite the candidates in."

A slow steady stream of candidates walk in. Some rush. Some trip. Some don't even know they are sitting for an exam. "Do you know where seat number 1150 is?"




ANNOUNCEMENT: "Candidates are to note that they are not allowed to have in their possession, any handphones, pagers, PCs, or any electronic hand held devices, including calculators that are programmable and have the ability to store tax."

"HUH!?!??!?! Cannot bring calculator in?"

ANNOUNCEMENT: "You are reminded that this is a 3 hr paper, and you are not allowed to leave this hall on a permanent basis till the end of this examination."
"Okay... we'll all be stuck here for a permanent basis."


Even at 2:50, there are still candidates strolling in. Some reach their tables candidly, sit down, put their bags on their laps, and continue reading their notes. Most of them are women in their 30s. They begin to fish out their big platform calculators with large punching keys.

At 2:55, invigilators start the catwalk. They walk down the aisles to give out the question paper.

At 2:58, despite several warnings to shade with a black pen or a pencil, candidates still shade the OAS in blue ink. At 3:00, "You may start now."

A thunderous roar of the flipping of papers resonate in the hall.

Silence till ............

A few late comers come barging into the hall. confidently.

At 3:01, attendance taking is the main priority. Some have registered since 1995. Do they take a decade to finish this course?!

"Hmm... this photo doesn't look like you. YOU LOOK LIKE A HAG NOW."

At 3:25, the hustle diminishes ... before invigilators start yawning, and have already by then catwalked at least 30 times up and down.

At 3:30, some invigilators take a break.

"There's John Little Sale..."

"Oh yeah... I just took a peek... like nothing much to buy..."

"I bought wrapping paper and potato chips." "WHAT?"

"It's a ploy I tell you... they put the potato chips right at the cashier..."

"I also heard there is a 'international brand sale' at Foyer 2 Level 2. Wanna take a look?"









"This shirts here looks just perfect for my dad."

"errrrrr..."
















"The international brand sale looks a bit better ... got A/X and Tommy Hilfiger!!!!"














"FAKE ONE LAR!!!!"











At 4:30pm, another batch of invigilators go for their break.

At 5:30pm, candidates start asking for extra pieces of paper.

Invigilator: " I need to write something on your front cover..."
Bitchy Candidate: "Can you do it later?!?!?!"
Invigilator: "Either I write now, or I take away the extra pieces of paper. Choose now."

ANNOUNCEMENT: "Time Check. It is 5:45 now, and you have 15 more minutes to complete the paper."

Today's paper seems so difficult that most candidates are stressed. Some give up. They use the remaining foolscap as drawing blocks. Sketches of "I M SO SIAN. Can examiners not mark?"

Invigilators dare not check for programmable calculators for fear of incurring the wrath of a "GO AWAY!!!" screaming banshee.

At 6:00pm. ANNOUNCEMENT: "Alright. It's 6:00. Please complete your last beautiful sentence and put your pens down."

Invigilators heave a sigh of relief as the ordeal of boredom has finally passed. Make a final catwalk down the aisle.